Yesterday I attended the funeral of a former co-worker. It was a sad day...for us. I know Dusty is finally cancer-free and enjoying his time in Heaven and for that, I am happy. Yesterday was also the first time since having Sofia that I got to see several of my former colleagues. It was so great to catch up with most of them. :0) Then there were "The Others" (here's a shout-out to you Lost fans)...
I was struck by how many of The Others asked the exact same question..."So, what are you doing now? Are you 'just a mom'?" I don't think they meant it the way it sounded, but seriously - for a second I felt like I must be wearing a dunce cap. When I mentioned my photography business, they seemed relieved and a couple people said "Oh good" or "I'm glad you've got something to do". One person even said they were glad I wasn't 'letting my great business mind go to waste'. Umm, thanks...I think? I'm glad I have a strong self-esteem or I would have been ready to slash my wrists!
I realize there is no need to rant at these folks about the skill it takes to be a stay-home parent. Maybe they just plant their kid in front of a tv with a snack and a sippy, but I don't - we have storytime, crafts, music, play dates and other activities every single day (not just Mon-Fri). As difficult and demanding as my previous job was, it in no way compares to the work I've done as a parent and honestly, the pay for being a full-time mommy SUCKS! :0)
When I got home, I was greeted by a loud "Mommy!" and got several marshmallow-sticky kisses. No one ever greeted me with such glee when I was a Compliance Officer. (Thankfully, none of the employees gave me sticky kisses when I was a Compliance Officer either.) The trade-off is definitely worth it and the challenge of molding another person into a God-fearing, decent, contributing member of society is more difficult, but thrilling, than any regulation or legislation I ever had to research, defend or decipher in my former work.
At the funeral, all the talk was about Dusty being a "great husband" and a "great Dad", not about being a "great IT employee". I pray that God would help me to excel as a wife and mother because I know that's the real, lasting legacy I'll leave behind. And I'm ok with being called "just a mom".
3 comments:
I like you.
I like the way you think & couldn't agree with you more!
Sitting here at a desk 9-5p does not EVEN compare to the job that never ends at home. It's HARD work, and you're right, the pay stinks but there is no greater satisfaction. I am so happy you get to do that for Sofi! I'm trusting God has a plan for me to be "just a mom" soon, too! That club is WAY cooler than the "other" club. ;)
I'll be praying that a 'plan' develops for you to stay home, too. It's the best...even when people say stupid things about it.
And I like you, too. :0)
Here's a great quote...
"Women can give up their jobs as clerks, engineers, salespeople, doctors - other people will step in and the world will go on as smoothly as before....The groceries will still be sold, trucks loaded with merchandise will still roll across our highways, and Wall Street will carry on.
Not so with homemaking. We are the special people into whose hands the homes of the country and world have been entrusted. When we leave THIS job the world does not go on as before. It falters and begins to lose its way. We homemakers are indispensable. Homemaking is more than a job - it is a profession: a profession which is venerable, honorable, and of the highest benefit to mankind."
-Mary LaGrand Bouma
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