defending the homestead

And so it begins. Each Spring, word gets out among the bird community that wreaths, bushes and ferns, all prime nesting real estate, are available at the SanMiguel home. It started a few years ago and now the amount of birds we deal with each year gets worse. I've never been much of a bird watcher, but I've admired my share of winged beauties in the past. Unfortunately, a few bad birds has ruined any admiration I had for pretty much the whole species. (Except maybe flamingos...because they're pink and I like the way Sofi says "flaminko".)

So this year, on those long, cold days of winter, I began to plan my attack. Any time I felt a twinge of sympathy for the poor little mama birds looking for a place to lay her precious baby eggs...I would remember the poop. And I would recount the amount of money I spend each year on ferns, only to have them become a brothel for bird lovin'. Then I get mad again and resolve NOT to spend another spring and summer scraping bird poop off my porch and Sofi's swingset. No more will I try to keep those devil birds off my tomato cages and watch as they peck away at my growing crop!

And so...two weeks ago when those nasty things appeared and started pecking on my kitchen windows (YES, they peck our windows as if to insist we bring out the ferns immediately), I knew it was time to gird up my loins and prepare to fight. We're taking extreme measures this year. For all you bird lovers or PETA members, turn away - do not continue reading this post.

Introducing....The Garden Defender.

















I did some research online and found there is a whole community of us who are trying to defend our homes from the attacks of these winged demons. Apparently, they are afraid of owls...and as luck would have it, Home Depot carries owl statues, appropriately called The Garden Defender. I'm starting with one, but if those things don't stay away, I'll perch one on every corner of my house. And what the owl doesn't take care of....

the Marksman Repeater BB Gun will!













Birds beware. We're armed and we're coming for you.